40's Wisdom, Part II

I have truly loved my 40s, it’s like the best of my 20s and 30s jumbled up into one and new adventures that seem to come up along the way. I feel like some of the fears I had back then have subsided and my focus is more precise on the things that matter.  A lot of that has to do with walking the road of having a child with cancer - nothing will change your perspective more than having a child that is sick. Those days in the hospital taught me a lot, lessons I never knew I needed, but they refined me into someone stronger and more resilient than ever. I learned to appreciate the little things in life - like laundry and dishes - and hanging around doing seemingly unimportant things with those you love. These are the things that matter - simply put, it is the relationships in life that are valuable not the things we purchase or earn - no status will ever bring true joy that comes from the gut of your soul.

This week continues with the words of wisdom from some really great women who are ahead of me in life. Last week we looked at perspective and this week they had some really great thoughts on marriage to share. If you find yourself in a marriage that is dry maybe some of these nuggets will encourage you to water what you have and to grow from that point forward. In all relationships we need forgiveness and understanding - we all have to start - and re-start from somewhere. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, please seek out some help. Confide in someone who you can trust to help guide you out of the situation, you are valuable and worthy of love - don’t let anyone tell you (or treat you) different. 

Without further ado…

On Marriage:

• Next to your relationship with Jesus, keep your marriage as your top priority. Your children will feel the most secure when they live in a home where their parents openly and freely love each other.

This was mentioned multiple times by several of these women so it must be important. I think we lose sight of the priority of marriage in the busyness of taking care of children and work responsibilities. The correlation between secure children and good marriages is undeniable.

• Have a regular date night with your husband. Love him well for your children’s sake - they will be secure. *Always make time for your husband, whatever that looks like for the two of you.

See there it is again - the priority of marriage - just in a different package. This can be so hard during this season of life because things are so busy, but if we make it a priority it will serve our families well. 

• Your husband needs your love and respect - always.

Even when he doesn’t like the color scheme you pick for a house? Yes! Always. :)

• Your husband receives all of your attention, ‘soumateness,’ building into and investing in him, and loving on him full force.

I think we can help our husbands and families thrive when we are willing to be a cheerleader, even in the toughest of times. 

• Be intentional in being unified in as many decisions as possible with your husband. At times this can be very challenging, but being devoted to working things out is paramount for a good marriage and role modeling for your kids.

Modeling compromise and resolution skills is not only great for our marriages but models how to handle conflict for our children. Unfortunately, not everything goes our way in life, but if we equip ourselves to handle it well it pays great dividends. Our children need to see unified fronts - this helps them make good decisions for themselves.

See you next week for some thoughts on parenting!

Until then, big hugs!